After the initial excitement of the sabbatical news the next big question loomed: Where in Europe should we actually go for three whole months with Tom (7) and Jerry (4)?
For some families, this might involve poring over maps, spinning a globe, or making a collective list of dream destinations. For us, the starting point was surprisingly straightforward: family. I’ve learned from Dominic Toretto, it’s all about la familia.
I also know we’ve never done this before. Knowing we have real support all along the trip matters.
Janika’s sister lives in Belgium, and it had been far too long since our last visit – more than five years, in fact. That immediately became a cornerstone of our trip. We considered starting there, but the we looked at flight costs. More on that in an upcoming post.
The next spot with family was Italy. Janika hadn’t seen some of her relatives there in two decades, and I had never been. It felt like a significant opportunity to reconnect with family and experience a new culture together.
Plus, 2025 is a Jubilee year. We were saddened by Pope Francis’ death, but the excitement around the election of Pope Leo IV was a big deal in our house. The idea of being in Rome during such a historic time adds an extra layer to our visit.
Our final anchor point became Norway. Janika lived there for a year after graduate school and has deep ties to the country: strong friendships, Norwegian heritage, and speaks the language. It’s another place I’ve never explored, and we’re all eager to experience its beauty.
While the big destinations felt relatively clear, how we’d spend our time and balance everyone’s needs was something we discussed. We consciously chose places where we had a built-in support system.
Staying with locals offers a level of comfort and immediate immersion you don’t get in a hotel. Need to find a late-night pharmacy? Ask me about the time I needed to do that in Budapest. I’m glad we were staying with friends.
For Italy, we decided to focus on the region of Calabria rather than trying to cram in a whirlwind tour of multiple cities. We wanted more time to simply be in a place, especially one that isn’t heavily saturated with tourists. More time for connection, less time spent rushing between landmarks.
Even with our family connections, we had to make adjustments.
My sister-in-law had some ambitious plans for our time in Belgium. We had to gently pump the brakes on that. Janika will be working remotely for part of our time there (a reminder that not everyone gets a three-month sabbatical!), and we also needed to consider costs and the amount of travel for the kids. All those flights add up and multi-hour car journeys weren’t in the cards.
Norway, in particular, presented some tempting but ultimately impractical options. Janika was eager to show us so much of the country. We briefly considered a classic Norway in a Nutshell tour – a breathtaking scenic journey by train, fjord cruise, and mountain railway.
However, the reality of a twelve-hour travel day with multiple luggage transfers (including car seats) and a significant budget increase led us to reconsider.
This leads to a key piece of advice: you have to be ruthless with yourself about what you and your family can truly do. Optimistic thinking over a glass of wine with your spouse won’t help you when you’re hip-deep in hangry kids. Sometimes, you have to cut out the things you fall in love with for the sake of a more manageable family experience.
This brings us to a crucial element of our destination decisions: comfort. And by comfort, we don’t necessarily mean luxury resorts. For us, it’s the comfort that allows for deeper immersion.
Janika’s great-grandfather grew up in a small Calabrian town in the mountains north of Cosenza. Distant cousins still live in that house.
The thought of our boys playing freely in that town with family, even distant relations, offers a sense of security and connection we might not feel in a completely unfamiliar urban environment.
It’s about a level of trust and belonging that facilitates genuine cultural exchange. We’re aiming for authentic experiences, not staged tourist traps, but also acknowledging our limits as a family with young children. We want to taste the local life, not just the club sandwiches at a chain hotel, but we’re also not quite ready for off-grid adventures just yet.
Ultimately, our destination decisions were driven by a desire to connect with loved ones, experience new cultures at a manageable pace for our family, and prioritize comfort in a way that fosters genuine immersion. It’s a blend of heart, practicality, and a dash of letting go of picture-perfect ideals in favor of real, lived moments.
This concept of comfort is personal. You might not have family exactly where you want to go, but chances are, you’ve traveled somewhere before.
For example, we don’t know anyone in Granada, Spain, but the five days I spent there traveling solo put it firmly on my list of places to visit with the kids.
Pushing the limits isn’t for everyone. You don’t have to ‘send it’ as the kids say, or feel like you’re cheating yourself or your kids of ‘authenticity’ by sticking with what you know. You only have so much mental capacity in a day; make sure you save it for what truly matters.
Tom and Jerry are not our boys real names. For some reason Tom got to watch Tom & Jerry in first grade, and he loves it. And for those that know me and are wondering, “Who’s Janika” I’m changing all the names.